renate.nu

…I’m leaving tomorrow!

Wow. Where did time go? I thought I had ages left until my trip to NYC, and now it is TOMORROW. I’m actually in the process of writing a list right now of what to pack and where (I’m bringing a nearly empty suitcase, my bag and a laptop backpack), something that is essential to my travel planning.

… … …

Hours later, here I am again. I’ve showered, eaten, packed my suitcase and finished the lists. I’ve probably forgotten something, but the essentials are covered. I think. I’ve tried my best not to bring much clothing, so that I will have to buy new ones, oh no. I had to pack a couple of pairs of pants though, as I am too short to find any pants that wouldn’t require hemming. I’m already worried that I won’t have enough space in my suitcase when I leave NY… However, should that happen, I will just have to mail some of it.

And… I just have to post this now or it will never get done! I also need to try and get some sleep before it’s too late (it kinda already is…).

So that muscle inflammation I had? The one I went to physical therapy for? Well, it might have really been an inflammation, but after I got the horrible pains from hell again today, I saw a clear pattern emerging, one that I alerted my doctor to last time as well, but she dismissed it.

I get these pains at the end of my period. And let me tell you, these are not normal period pains like I’ve ever experienced them before, NO. They are searing, near crippling pains that make me want to throw up. I made myself go to work today, but how they day had been without the two doses of pain killers I took, I don’t know. I don’t WANT to know, because even with pain killers it was bad enough.

So there you have it. Chances are I’ll have to live with this once a month for THE REST OF MY LIFE. Well, the rest of my menstruating life, which is LONG ENOUGH. Take away a few months for a pregnancy that I hope will happen sooner or later, and still. LONG ENOUGH.

Today was good, work wise. I feel like I’m coming into my own at work lately, and it exhilarates me and makes me want to do more. This has been going on for some time now, much of it spurred on by the facts that 1) I’m my boss’ right hand, so I get to take part in more of the decision making and all that happens before a decision is made, and 2) I’ve been taken off duty when it comes to our daily routine tasks, so that I can devote more time to work on long term projects.

Last week, I was unexpectedly thrown into the big budget meeting, where our budget for 2010 was presented and discussed. I loved it. I love knowing what goes on behind the scenes, how other people from other departments think and work, and above all, knowing that if I want to make my voice heard, I can. I still have a way to go before I will let my voice actually BE heard, as there is so much to learn before I can bring anything to the discussions (except questions, but I try to limit those).

In short: I love my job, more than I ever thought I would. Perhaps not to the extent that I love getting up in the morning (because, well, I’d rather just sleep just TEN MORE MINUTES. Or an hour.), but I don’t dread going into work either.

I’m so indecisive. I’ve raised this question before, I know, but here it is again. See, I’d really like to blog in Norwegian also, but I want to keep that blog separate from this, so I won’t be implementing it as its own category of this blog – that would just feel wrong to me.

So the question is, where do I put my Norwegian blog? I have registered with Blogger and iPublish so far, but there’s also the option of making it a subsite of Renate.nu.

I’m probably leaning more towards iPublish right now, mostly because of the sense of community, but still, I don’t know. I’ll obviously miss having full control, and I’m no fan of ads…

Anyone have any input? Anything at all?

In other news: There is none. I work, I read, I sleep. AND I LEAVE FOR NEW YORK IN TEN DAYS.

Yes, I’ve mentioned Supernatural before, but it deserves another mention because it is made of all things awesome. Add to that a couple of hot guys, and BAM! IT’S A HIT. With me, at least. Like Big Bang Theory, it also has its fair share of references to popular culture. Win!

I’ve always been a fan of the supernatural, even though it scares me crazy. I have Supernatural-themed nightmares. Like the other night, I dreamed that Tor was sort of Dean Winchester, and there was a creepy reflection in the mirror and then THE OWLS SENT US DEATH THREATS.

Yeah… Minor derailment there, sorry. It’s true though, I did dream that. The Dean part wasn’t so nightmare-ish. DISCLAIMER: I love my husband and don’t really want him to be Dean.

The first SPN episode I watched was Bloody Mary, one of the season 1 episodes. It was on TV here, and I figured why not, and then I didn’t sleep much the following night. Then I kept forgetting to watch it because it was on at stupid o’clock. But then Bre came to visit and she brought her season 1 DVDs, and we spent much of our time bonding over demons and Winchesters. It was awesome. Who needs a bachelorette party when there’s Supernatural?

Apparently Jared and Jensen aren’t on Twitter. Apparently Sam and Dean are, though. How could Sam NOT be on Twitter? I’m just sayin’. The boy’s a geek. He could almost do a guest part on Big Bang Theory (although I’m really no fan of crossovers. Too much strangeness and awkward and oh hi I’m Harry Potter and I just walked through a portal to Middle Earth. Better not.).

“It’s like we got a contract on us. You think it’s ’cause we’re so awesome? I think it’s ’cause it’s we’re so awesome.” -Dean Winchester

In the words of GIR: I love this show.

And what’s not to love? It has geeky boys (who are kinda cute too), video games, geeky humour and tons of references to popular culture. And that last one, that’s one of the things I love the most. Popcultrefs. Yes, that’s a word. Yes, I might have made it up right now. Also, I googled it right now and the top hit was the Wikipedia entry on popular culture.

I stumbled across BBT on Norwegian TV one day, and immediately recognised it as an awesome show that had to be watched. So I ordered the first season on DVD, and watched. And laughed. Now let me explain something about me and laughing: The later years it hasn’t happened too often. It’s not that I’m not generally having a good time, I just don’t laugh like I used to. BBT makes me laugh like I used to.

And I love it for that.

I may also have a small fictional character crush on Leonard.

If you’re already familiar with the show, then you might also want to follow the guys on Twitter! You can find Sheldon, Raj, Leonard and Howard there, as well as Kunal Nayyar who plays Raj. Fun times!

“I’m polymerized tree sap and you’re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original projectory and adheres to you.” -Sheldon Cooper, PhD.

Yeah? I don’t know about you, but I need it. Why? The PRESSURE. Seriously. I feel this constant pressure to be the perfect version of all me’s. I know that doesn’t make any sense just now, but bear with me and keep reading.

First of all, I feel pressure to perform at work. This is actually the least of my concerns, which is why I choose to list it first. I need to not just do the tasks given to me (something that would be almost impossible, because hey, I’m the one giving out tasks), but also coordinate all our work, support my boss (I’m her stand in) in her work, start up new projects and see them through, yet still do all the regular things that are expected of me, such as answering the phone. Still, I manage this just fine, mostly because it actually gives me more energy – performing at a high level is an adrenaline boost like whoa.

Then I come home from work, and the other pressures make themselves known.

I need to perform as a wife. And obviously, no, I’m not talking “wifely duties” here, that’s not something I’m going to discuss. I mean the day-to-day stuff, like keeping the house clean, making dinner, doing the shopping and doing the laundry. Now obviously there are two (or actually three) of us to share in this work, but as it turns out, most of it falls on me – except laundry, the other two more than do their part there. But I feel this pressure to do all of this perfectly, like some 50s housewife brought into the present. And I might have managed, too, if it hadn’t been for the next point.

When I come home from work, I don’t have time off. I have studying to do. Since I don’t go to lectures, I have to read a LOT, and do quite a bit of research on the side to make sure I’ve understood everything correctly. I’m not aiming to be a straight A student (although I’d love to be one), but to make sure that I am allowed into a master’s program one day, I need to maintain at least a C average.

And then, you know, there’s the fact that I like to just take some time for myself. To sit down and enjoy a book, movie or video game without having all these guilty feelings crowding my mind, telling me that I should stop reading enchanting fantasy books and pick up my history books, that I should get off my butt and clean the counters, that I should put away the video games and do something USEFUL with my time. But the only times I can really say that I don’t have those guilty feelings, are during the Christmas and summer holidays, between terms. And even then I might tell myself that I should devote some time to studying, if I know what the curriculum is for next term.

So to be honest, I kinda dread the day I have a kid to take care of in the midst of all this, because I’m pretty sure that task alone is an all-consuming “job”, and one that I will hopefully be glad to do at the expense of the rest. But the rest will still BE THERE, as will my guilty conscience.

So who’s with me on the application for more hours in a day?

The day after I wrote my sniffly blog post, I woke up and by a miracle felt well! No stuffy nose, no headache, nothing. Excellent! I thought. For once, I’ve steered clear of the sickness. Go me!

I might have spoken (thought) too soon though. Because now? Now I’m sort of feeling the sick again. No fever, still, but now my throat is all weird and I have an annoying cough. My theory? I told myself that there was no way I could allow myself to be sick the past week, because of being in charge at work and having Things To Do, so my body and mind worked together to POSTPONE it.

So, fingers crossed this doesn’t evolve into something worse. Right now it’s definitely manageable, and I’m hoping it’ll stay that way. Because you know what? I have no time to be sick next week either. Actually, the rest of the year looks kind of busy, so if I could just make an appointment for, say, February? At the earliest.

I’ve caught another cold. I honestly can’t believe it – I was sick just recently, and now I have a cold. It’s not bad enough that I’m staying home from work (but apparently bad enough that my typing is affected, it took me four tries to type ‘work’), but bad enough that I kinda wish I WAS staying home from work.

Because of the swine flu, we have this rule at work that if you’re experienced flu-like symptoms, you’re supposed to stay home for 7 days to avoid infecting others. However, I seriously can not bring myself to stay home because I have a clogged nose. Work is crazy busy for me these days, and I just sent home one of my co-workers yesterday because of flu symptoms (she had a fever and a general body ache though, so she’s worse off than I am, REALLY REALLY), so there really is no way I can not be at work this week. I have, however, promised myself that once Friday is over I can be sick and just relax at home.

I’ve also started physical therapy for my achy back/thigh/hip/butt, which is…ok, I guess. I was a little shocked the first time because I had to take off so much of my clothing, but I guess I should have expected that. Last session I got a rather awesome massage, which was…rather awesome (cold is also affecting my vocabulary (so much so that it took me a while to remember the word ‘vocabulary’, I was about to just type ‘affecting my words’)). My physical therapist person is also really nice. I was a bit apprehensive at first because out of the four people who work at the place, I was booked in with the one male. However, it wasn’t all that awkward, and he’s really nice. Also, the place is in the same building as the gym I go to, so I can combine PT sessions with a good workout. Win!

In somewhat more geeky news from my life, a whole new world has opened up for me after I realised that the Xbox 360’s ability to play DivX was just an update away. It connects to my laptop without delay and streams video over the wireless network with no trouble at all. It. Is. Awesome.

24 more days until I leave for New York! No butterflies yet, but I think it still hasn’t QUITE sunk in that I am actually going there. Wow. To ANOTHER CONTINENT. To meet FAYE. And KIM. And MATT. And HANNAH. And THE STATUE OF LIBERTY. And THE DINOSAURS.

THE DINOSAURS, PEOPLE!!